nowadays

nowadays, I see no exit door
as I lay on my six by four,
well, three and a half
to be precise.
toss and turn
like cast dice
landing on no preset number
so I turn and turn ’till I fall,
I slumber

nowadays, I see no exit door
as I stare blankly at the once white tiled floor
now turned pale
from spillings of ale,
ale that helped to turn me numb,
with every prick and blood droplet drips
I slip, I slip

nowadays, I see no exit door
my eyes seem shut
all I see is darkness afore.
I want no exit door
I need no exit door
a hammer, a mallet, anything
I will exit through the wall.

the Vampire,… within

more… morE… moRE… mORE… MORE!
I just can’t get enough,
So I’ll ask for more,
Not noticing I’m draining you,
I’ll beg for more,
Don’t be like that,
Give me some more…
I beg, I plead, please…
*Stake through my heart*
You just said no,
You just killed, the vampire within me…

… hush…

Please, don’t say you love me,
Just smile and hug me.

Please, don’t say you love me,
Don’t lie, that’s not loving.

Please, don’t say you love me,
I, sadly, don’t know how to love back.

Please, don’t say you love me,
I’d rather you just shun me.

Please, don’t say you love me,
Don’t trap yourself, knowingly.

Please, don’t say you love me,
Just don’t, it’s scary.

Please, don’t say you love me,
If you do, atleast show it.

She… death one million times over…

Whipped!
Atleast that’s what I think it is…
Trapped!
At times that’s what I feel it is…
Engulfed!
I cannot breathe, I don’t want to…
Cornered!
Feel my heart beat, the throb wants to escape my chest…
Stuck!
I can’t move, quick sand, QUICK SAND!…

But I’m here,
I’ll take it like a man,
Death a million times over

… words… I am…

I wear my heart on my sleeve,
A magician of sorts,
My chest is cold,
No beat, no throb…
I put on a smile for all,
They call me a jester,
Not showing my chipped teeth,
Rotting within…
I do not cry,
Neither do I blink,
Lest I miss something,
Or see and not feel…
I am the darkness in the night,
The morning’s day sunlight,
I am death,
I am life…

her cries

“Daddy don’t touch me there,
I’m gonna tell on you one day I swear!
can’t you see I’m scared?
You’re supposed to be my father?!”
Lisa’s barely ten years old,
and already,
the world feels cold.
Daddy came to her bed last night,
it wasn’t pleasant,
she couldn’t fight.

It’s been months now,
and mommy hates her,
says she’s ‘stealing’ her man,
so she beats her.

“Daddy PLEASE don’t touch me there,
I’m gonna tell on you one day I swear
can’t you see I’m scared?
You’re supposed to be my father?!”
Lisa’s now fifteen and hates her father,
no peace at home,
her mother can’t stand her.
She’s got one friend that truly knows her,
her name’s Yvonne,
she’s her shoulder.

The pregnancy scares,
she cannot bare.
Contemplates suicide,
or better yet parricide.

“Daddy you touched me there,
I’m telling on you today I swear!
couldn’t you see I was scared?
You were supposed to be my father?!”
Lisa turned twenty today,
liberated,
they’re locking daddy away.
Mommy did long ago leave her,
she turned out stronger,
’twas for the better.

She still cries,
no tears fall from her eyes,
she’s torn and broken,
this is her unspoken.